Daily Struggles

I have to be honest here… life is hard! I spend most of my time battling myself and my own destructive thoughts. Who can relate! I have a running monologue in my head where I build myself up and break myself down all at the same time. I read into others actions everything negative I can imagine and then spend time arguing inwardly if I am correct or not.

But, scripture say “lean not unto your on understanding”. Why then do I/we listen to ourselves? Why do I/we listen to our minds when His word is hidden in our hearts? Scripture says “I have hidden your word in my heart so that I may not sin against you”. Do I/we actually hide it there or do we stick it in our minds? If in our hearts, why do we not have recall when needed? Or better said, why do we listen to our thoughts and not our hearts?

Maybe I/we are truly carnal people? Maybe I/we care more about how I/we feel than serving He who died for us? The shortest verse in the Bible is “Jesus Wept”. I wonder how much He weeps for me? Because, I constantly deny Him. If I/we are honest we deny Him all too often, considering only ourselves and what makes us feel better.

As I stated at the beginning, this is a constant battle for me. Each day I try and fail. Each day I strive to be more like Him. Each day I remember His word. Yet, each day I fall short. As I think back on Bible lessons from my youth I remember David sinned and was still called a man after God’s own heart. Paul said “ the thing I want to do I do not do and the thing do not want to do I do”. He said “I asked God three times to remove this thorn from my flesh” yet, Paul has one priority “to live is Christ and to die is to gain”. Peter denied Jesus three times and Jesus still said “ upon this rock I will build my house”…..

Come to think of it I’m not too different from those in the Bible

Maybe this daily struggle is a good thing…..?


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